This post is proudly sponsored by our friends at The Knude Society
Sometimes, I’m assuming for a lot of people (myself included), masturbation is a quick, feel-good experience with the intention of “just getting the job done.” I totally get it— it’s hard enough sometimes to find time to exercise, cook dinner, do chores, and then somehow also find time to masturbate for an hour with vigorous curiosity??
Masturbation feels like a weird taboo even though the vast majority of people are doing it—we never really learned how to do it, why it’s good for us, and what a healthy masturbation practice even looks like.
Instead, it’s normally done in secret, coated in a thick layer of shame, and often becomes a confusing topic of conversation when we enter into romantic relationships with other people. Today, we’re leaving all the shame outside of this conversation. We don’t need it— just bring your eager-to-learn, eager-to-explore self to the table. Today is all about fun, pleasure, and exploration!
Mix it up, baby!
Like I said before, it’s easy to get in a masturbation rut with ourselves. So, mix it up! Buy yourself a new toy, change the location of where you masturbate the most, or try listening or watching new porn or erotica. At Team RW, we highly recommend Bellesa— it’s all ethical porn, and it is fabulous!
If you’re someone who normally masturbates in places of convenience (ex: bed, shower, etc.), try masturbating somewhere new! If you live with roomies and don’t feel comfy doing so, try a new position. Sometimes it can feel silly to do this but let me remind you— masturbating is sexy time with yourself! You deserve to mix it up and enjoy your personal sex life!
You know that “just getting the job done energy?” Well, there is a time a place for it (and this isn’t it). Sometimes, because we are busy people, it’s easy to just “squeeze” our masturbation routine in.
’m not insinuating that this is something that needs to occur during every masturbation session, but if you’ve never taken time to look at your bits and your body while you’re masturbating— grab a mirror, baby. It’s time to get to know YOU.
Now, this might feel a little uncomfy, but remember that uncomfy doesn’t have to mean bad. Anything new can feel a little weird the first couple of times— and that’s okay. Push through the weird (there’s a lot of good after you do).
Seeing how our body looks when we’re turned on, seeing where we are touching ourselves when it feels good, and exploring other erogenous zones is truly liberating. Knowledge is power, but it often feels like the very thing we know the least about is the body that we exist in every day of our lives!
Take your time taking yourself in. Take your time bringing yourself to orgasm. A great way to practice doing this is by implementing edging into your practice. Edging is when you bring yourself just to the cusp of climax and stop masturbating— repeating as many times as you wish, which will generally lead to an enhanced orgasm.
Edging is a super fun way to practice lengthening your masturbation routine and possibly experience enhanced orgasms.
Lube is one of the best ways to *spice up your masturbation practice*. Lube adds moisture, can enhance sensations and is an easy solution to implementing intentionality into our masturbation routine.
I’m a firm believer that lube should be on every single nightstand and should be used in every single sexual situation (solo or partnered). There are lubes that add sensations to the mix, flavored lubes, CBD lubes— you name it!
Even if it’s the small form of intentionality and the extra little step of caring for yourself— use lube, use lube, use lube!
Really Look At Yourself Naked
You might be thinking this sounds a little woo-woo or “out there,” but hear me out— looking at yourself naked and really taking your body in is a special way to experience sensuality with yourself.
We weren’t taught to appreciate our bodies or even get to know them. We were taught to critique them, “fix them,” and “look good” for others. This not only separates us from our bodies, but it creates some deep feeling that our bodies aren’t really ours.
But guess what? Your body is yours. It is for your pleasure, your self-exploration, and your appreciation. The more we learn to love and appreciate our bodies, the easier it will become to give them adoration and attention.
So seriously, get naked and check yourself out. I dare you.
Be intimate with yourself in other ways, too!
Like in partnered relationships, sometimes we crave intimacy, but we aren’t craving sexual intimacy. It’s no different with ourselves— shocking, right?
I truly believe that by practicing other forms of intimacy with ourselves, we become more attentive to our bodies, minds, feelings, and the people we are in relationship with (I’m not just talking romantically).
Taking long baths surrounded by candles, cooking yourself a fantastic dinner and having a glass of wine, having a spicy photo shoot with yourself, taking yourself on a date night, applying lotion to your whole body, letting yourself dance and move your body— are all different ways intimacy could look — and that’s the beauty of it.
Feeling embodied with ourselves might be a newer, more foreign feeling, and that’s okay. It will become comfier over time! Allow yourself the space to explore new forms of intimacy without casting judgment on yourself or having expectations— you are an exciting person to get to know (even if it’s just you getting to know yourself).