By Jennah DuBois
Shopping for sex toys can feel pretty daunting because there are so many options. How the heck do we know what’s good, what’s not, & what will partner best with our body? What are the best sex toys for vulva owners? What about pleasure aids?
Well, lucky you, because we’re going to chat about allll these things (& more)!
Vulva owners, this article is all for YOU. If you’ve got a vulva & you’re ready to use it, get ready for some recommendations, tips, & a little bit of education.
Touch Your Body
First things first, we gotta know how our bodies work & the pleasure spots we respond best to. What do I mean? Let me explain!
Vulva owners, your vulva is nothing short of pure magic (no, seriously, it is). We have SO many nerve endings & potential pleasure points (which makes it loads of fun to explore our bits).
On the clitoris alone, there are 8,000 nerve endings.. & guess what? More nerve endings expand farther out onto the labium & into the vaginal canal. Here’s a little diagram to help explain your potential points of pleasure & what your vulva *kind of* looks like. (We’re all a little different, so this is only meant as a general educational overview)
Isn’t your vulva wondrous? Okay, so now that we’re all acquainted with how they look, are you acquainted with your own vulva?
Have you ever really looked at it in a mirror & got to know what your lips look like, where your cute clitoris is, & how all your bits come together?
If you haven’t, pause right now & go take a peek (if that’s accessible to you at the moment, that is)!
Why is this important?
- It’s YOUR beautiful body & you should know what it looks like! Anything can seem weird until we take time to look at it & get to know it.
- When it comes to partnered sex, we need to know our own bodies & what we prefer so we can better direct our partners. If your vulva & its pleasure are a mystery to you, they are most likely going to be a mystery to someone else as well.
- Knowing your body is power. Really, it is! Allowing ourselves pleasure & the freedom to explore our bodies is so important when it comes to feeling confident about ourselves.
Now, the next step (after you’ve taken a peek) is spending some time exploring your pleasure points.
Remember the diagram I showed you & have some fun exploring down there!
Where do you enjoy being touched? Do you enjoy clitoral stimulation? Internal stimulation? Both? Also, remember: orgasming isn’t the goal. Just take this space to get to know you.
GREAT.
This is wonderful knowledge to have & will come in handy when shopping for a sex toy! Plus, as I said, there is power in knowing our bodies. Even if it’s just us a better understanding how our bodies work… that alone empowers us & makes us feel that we aren’t such a mystery to ourselves.
How did it go? Well, I hope? Do you have some idea what you’re looking for now? If you still aren’t sure, do not fret! I will be recommending products for beginners & experienced users alike!
The Best Sex Toys & Pleasure Aids for Vulva Owners
Without sounding completely obsessed, I think I am in love with my vibrator.
Let me tell you a little short story:
I didn’t start masturbating until my early 20’s & when I first used my fingers I… struggled. My body just didn’t respond well & I needed more stimulation. So, when I finally purchased my first vibe, my world was instantly changed.
I had always felt like something was wrong with me because even during partnered sex, I could only orgasm *sometimes* (orgasming isn’t the goal, but I was mostly frustrated because I didn’t understand how my body works yet).
It turns out my body just requires a lot of stimulation (which was SO comforting & exciting to learn)!
So, be gentle with yourself. Each & every single body is different & requires different levels of touch. That’s honestly part of the fun of exploring & knowing your body!
When it comes to vibrators, there are so many different styles, shapes, vibrations, & sizes to sift through. So, how do we choose?? Well, now that you have *hopefully* gotten a little more acquainted with your body, where did you enjoy the most stimulation??
Here are some of the most popular styles of vibrators, the areas they stimulate best, & what they generally look like!
The Maude vibe is great because it is basically this company’s take on a bullet vibrator. The tip is so, SO soft, it’s very compact, & it works great during partnered penetrative sex, too (if that’s your jam). This vibe is simple, but it’s still secretly (okay, not so secretly) my absolute favorite.
The Satisfyer Pro 2 is an excellent beginner suction toy. It’s inexpensive, relatively quiet, powerful, easy to use, & easy to clean. It’s an excellent alternative if you don’t totally vibe with a classic vibrator or you’re just looking to mix it up. One of the best sex toys for vulva owners, you’ll love its simplicity.
This toy levels up by combining both internal stimulation & clitoral stimulation. It is compact & labeled as a wonderful beginner option for dual stimulation and comes in an adorable, discrete case & is simple to use! Plus, it has lots of settings so each body type can find the speed they like & it’s flexible but firm.
This toy is a bit more advanced & does a bit of everything. Not only does it stimulate the clitoris with suction technology, but it also has an internal vibe that vibrates in a “come hither” motion. In my opinion, it’s some of the best sex one could possibly have on their own. & who doesn’t want that??
Dame is an incredible company & their products are TOP NOTCH. The Aer mimics oral pleasure that feels like a flutter sensation while simultaneously sealing around the clitoris. I mean… magic? With Rachel’s code, RACHELWRIGHT, you can get sweet discount (amount varies)!
V for Vibes Bia is a toy that *takes it up a couple notches*. This toy is V for Vibes take on a rabbit vibrate— it provides that dual stimulation in a unique way with the two little (as I like to call them) clit strokers. There is also a curve to the body of the toy that is designed to enhance stimulation. So much yummy stimulation! (Use code RACHELVIBES for a special discount!)
If you’re interested in the Bia, but are looking for a waterproof toy, the We-Vibe Nova offers that same dual stimulation (while also being able to be submerged in water). This toy is very quiet (which is a major perk for vibrating toys) and has nine powerful vibration modes. This is a fabulous toy for all the dual stimulation toy-lovers out there!
These are obviously just a few options & there are TONS more out there. But, I wanted to give you examples of internal & external toys so you have a bit more of an idea of what might feel good for your body.
PS: All of these toys have wonderfully descriptive websites & I highly encourage you to check them out if you are truly interested (also, read the reviews. Not only are they hilarious, they are so helpful).
How To Care For Your Vibes
Now that you have a new best friend (or two.. or five), let’s run through how to properly care for your vibrators (because we wanna keep these babies in tip-top shape).
First things first, LUBE.
Use it whether you are masturbating alone or showing off your new toy to a partner, USE LUBE. Magic is real on this earth & it comes in the form of liquidy lube goodness.
The most important lube tidbit to remember is that silicone doesn’t pair with silicone. So, be sure to NOT use silicone lube on your new, beautiful silicone toy or it could cause some erosion. Instead, get a water-based lubricant & all will be well.
Charging: if you’re like me & use your toy on the regular, this won’t be a problem. But if you only use your toy sometimes, remember to charge your vibes occasionally to keep their batteries working well (a vibe that dies at the exact worst time is.. devastating).
Now onto cleaning!
Cleaning is SO important to make sure bacteria doesn’t grow & just to keep your toy as nice as possible for as long as possible.
Most toys are at least water-resistant & can be cleaned with water & a very gentle soap.
You can also buy special toy cleaners, like SweetVibes Foami, Dame’s Hand + Vibe Cleaner, or Cake’s Toy Cleaner.
Still, if you use soap that is relatively clean & not super scented, you should be good to go! (Rachel also recommends keeping ‘cum cloths’ or washcloths in your nightstand drawer along with ph-balanced wipes, like Royal (Use the code RACHEL10 for 10% off), Cake, or Beia’s wipes.)
How to Bring Toys Into the Bedroom
By this point, you might be feeling more comfortable with your body, which toys sound the most appealing to you, & how your body best responds to pleasure. “Okay,” you might be wondering, “but how do I know my partners will be okay with me bringing toys into the bedroom?”
Toys with partners sometimes get a bad rap.
The truth is, toys aren’t a threat, they are an aid!
Voicing to our partners how our body works, what feels good, & inviting them to try is so sexy (& fun).
We are often most insecure about things we don’t understand.
If your current partner(s) haven’t used toys in the bedroom yet, it might just take some getting used to. Assure them that it doesn’t take away from the intimacy you are sharing with them & the reason you want to bring them in is for pleasure, fun, connection, & exploration.
Also, if you’re hooking up with someone, keep a bullet vibrator in your bag! Your pleasure is a priority & normalizing the use of toys as sexual aids is something I’m passionate about. So, bring those toys along with ya! Express to your partners the importance of pleasure & remind them that all of our bodies work differently.
Remember: we are normally turned off to what we don’t yet understand & that toys are a wonderful aid.
Ready to Start Vibing??
The most important thing to remember about all of this is: there is no right way to masturbate, there is no right way to orgasm, it’s okay if you don’t vibe with the first toy your try, it’s okay if you are just getting to know your body & feel nervous… Wherever you are is okay.
Let go of any expectations for yourself & have some fun exploring! Seriously, your body is so cool. It’s just waiting for you to get to know it!
