Episode 14: A Conversation About Owning Pleasure and Sexuality After Childhood Sexual Abuse with Kaycie Crossley

***Content / Trigger Warning, in this episode, we discuss sensitive topics that may not be suitable for all audiences. Topics like sexual abuse and physical abuse, including child sexual molestation. This may be an episode to skip, or use headphones for, if you have others around you that may not be prepared to listen.***

Hey everyone! Welcome to today’s episode of the Wright Conversations Podcast! I’m joined by Kaycie Crossley, Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, for today’s episode.

We are going to talk about Kaycie’s journey through her own sexual trauma, the truth about the nature of sexual abuse, and the reassurance that trauma is not destiny. Kaycie also talks about the importance of consent, how to start the process of re-owning your sexuality and pleasure, and the misunderstandings around kink.

Let’s delve in!

In this Episode, You’ll Learn:
[02:21] Why this episode is special.
[07:29] Why this topic is important to Kaycie.
[08:24] How it shows up in therapy.
[09:13] The thing about risky behavior.
[10:39] Defining childhood sexual abuse.
[11:07] “Was [insert] sexual abuse?”
[12:34] What’s the first step to re-owning sexuality and pleasure?
[15:50] Why it’s so common for people to put it on themselves.
[20:30] Kaycie’s journey to reclaiming her sexuality and pleasure.
[23:33] The truth about kink.
[25:23] Kaycie’s loudspeaker moment.
[26:55] Rewiring neurological pathways.

“There’s no shame in having sex with multiple partners. There’s no shame in indulging in any kind of sexual behavior that feels good to you.” [09:34]
“It’s really highly advisable that you do this in therapy just because of how triggering this can be.” [12:52]
“It’s really we learn to accept that we are never the reason for the sexual abuse.” [14:01]
“Working through this and redefining our sexuality is one way that we can go back in time and take care of our child self in the ways that we were never cared for.” [17:23]
“Consent is such a big part of it.” [23:07]
“It was never your fault.” [25:48]
“Any physiological responses you had during sexual abuse was not consent.” [25:54]
“We are harmed in relationships, and through relationships, we heal.” [26:33]
“You can have a healthy, wonderful, and enjoyable sexual experience if you want one. It’s out there waiting for you.” [27:50]


Kaycie’s Bio
Kaycie helps individuals and families work through personal struggles, relationship issues, and communication breakdowns so they can live authentically and enjoy deeper, more meaningful connections with themselves and others. (Check out her stuff here).

She provides heart-centered, humanistic psychotherapy that is grounded in theory and science. Kaycie values seeing every client as the expert of their experience and takes great pride in providing tailored-to-you therapy that opens up our stories to new possibilities. She specializes in working with individuals with trauma and couples of all kinds. She loves getting outside, volunteering, and seeing live music in her spare time.

Connect with Kaycie Crossley
Website: kayciecrossley.com
Instagram: @kayciecrossleytherapy
LinkedIn: Kaycie Crossley


Connect with Rachel Wright
Website: https://rachelwrightnyc.com
Instagram: @thewright_rachel
Twitter: @thewrightrachel


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